With No Warning, Everything Changed, Again

It's been just over 2 weeks since my world was turned upside down, again, with no warning. I took the kids camping on the weekend of June 20, wanting to create memories. I found a sweet last minute spot in Samuel de Champlain Provincial Park, right on the rapids of the Amable du Fond River. I couldn't believe my luck, so I jumped on it and booked it. What ended up unfolding was not the memory-making I had in mind.

It was supposed to just be the kids and I, originally. My partner Vic needed to stay back home to finish getting ready for the music festival season around the corner, where they were set to vend as an artisan (with me, their eager assistant). A few days before our camping trip to Mattawa, she told me she would try her hardest to make it for even one night to be with us, and that she would bring her friend/housemate, Andy, if she did.

There was talk about the risk of scattered thunderstorms, which made me a little nervous. But as someone who has been camping for many years, this was par for the course. While we waited for the arrival of Vic and Andy on Saturday evening, the kids and I were having such a wholesome time. We had a campfire on Friday night, Kamila's friend Hannah came out to hang out with us. On Saturday we went for a swim to get relief from the muggy heat that was developing. In the afternoon it rained a little, so we went into our trailer and played a long game of, "How Well Do You Know Your Family?" I just remember feeling so happy and at peace. There we were, making memories, under the canopy of the old growth trees. At one point, Eli said: "I wish we could live in this trailer. I would totally live in here."

Vic and Andy arrived around 7:40 pm. I remember feeling so grateful that they made it all the way out for just one night. Talk about feeling loved! Andy set up camp while Vic and I watched over the campfire nachos. The kids painted rocks while the adults finished eating. Everything felt so relaxing and calm. We started to hear some thunder far away around 9:05 pm and the wind picked up a little, so we started to put everything away and got into the trailer to wait out the storm, which seemed to be approaching.

As soon as we got in, I heard three banging sounds from large hail hitting the car and trailer. We looked out the window and saw Andy's tent fly into the fire. Vic and Andy jumped out to move it and came right back in. Within a few seconds, and only a short moment from the initial sounds of thunder and wind changes, we heard the loudest crunching sound. The entire trailer shook violently, while the roof came down on us, in just seconds. I would later realize that it was two giant red pine trees that fell onto the trailer, crushing it to the ground.  Vic told me her arm was pinned, which I acknowledged, but I couldn't hear my kids. My shoulder was stuck for a moment, but I somehow got free and snaked my way out of the small hole where the door once was.

When my feet landed on the ground outside, the landscape had completely changed. Nothing looked familiar at all. The giant pines were uprooted, creating walls of soil that were over 6 feet tall in circumference, with large uneven holes in the ground, where the roots once lived. There were trees everywhere, making it so hard to navigate. I jumped to every corner of the trailer, looking for an opening to find my kids, while the sky lit up like a strobe light, and rain fell in sheets.

I suddenly spotted Char and Eli, and then Andy, standing up through the giant crack in the roof of the trailer. As it turned out, Char was untouched by the roof because it cracked open right over her head. She saw Eli's head trapped under the roof of the trailer, and used her feet and legs to lift it enough to free him. They climbed out onto the roof and followed me while I tried to guide them to the car, with great difficulty. Crawling on our hands and knees under giant tree trunks, and climbing over "smaller ones" filled with branches, it was so hard to make sense of how to get to the car. There were dead-ends in every direction. When we finally got there, it was covered in trees. We were able to get the doors just open enough against dense, soaking wet branches, to get into the car.

By some miracle we had 3 phones with us. Taking deep breaths, we started to call 911. I didn't realize until that moment that you can call 911 even when there is no service. I had been trying to check the weather all day, walking back and forth to the car where it was charging to see if the weather forecast had loaded. It never did. The 911 operator said that help was on the way. The storm was still raging and I opened my door to scream this update to Vic. HELP IS ON THE WAY!!! My kids were begging me to not leave the car. I told them I would wait a few more moments for the intensity of the storm to calm a little. I'M COMING SOON BABY, KEEP BREATHING, HELP IS ON THE WAY!!!!

A few moments passed and I promised the kids I would be safe. While my car was parked less than 3 feet from the trailer, it took so much time to navigate back to Vic, through all the branches and trunks, on uneven terrain, barefoot. I could see Vic, every part of their body, except for the section of their left arm that was pinned. I yelled to Andy to come help me lift the roof. I was clearly in shock and overestimating the power of my adrenaline. READY??!! 1, 2, 3!!! The roof didn't budge. I had no way of freeing my love, in excruciating pain, under thousands of pounds of weight, as they lay belly down on the floor of the trailer.

From this moment on, Andy and I took turns making the trek through the chaos of fallen trees to Vic, while the other stayed with the kids in the car. We kept calling 911. How the hell would they find us under all these trees?? We honked the car, put the 4-way-flashers on both vehicles, and prayed. We kept calling 911, and they kept telling us that so much help was already on site, but there were thousands of fallen trees blocking the road. There were crushed vehicles trapped under and between those trees too. Maybe campers trying to get away from the storm? They were using chainsaws and bulldozers to clear the way to us. We didn't hear those chainsaws for hours which made me terrified that they wouldn't make it on time to save Vic's life.

It took 3 hours before the first rescue team arrived on foot, and another hour and a half for them to get my love out from under the tree. An excruciating 4 hours more after that, for the bulldozers to clear the road for the ambulances to get through.

Timeline of events:

7:40 pm - Vic and Andy arrive to the camping site

9:10 pm - Storm hits, Vic's arm is pinned under giant pine tree and roof of trailer

12:05 am - First crew arrives by foot (Mattawa firefighters)

1:30 am - Vic is "extricated"from the trailer

4:30 am - After 4 more hours of Vic being freed from the trailer, the road is finally cleared, and a walking path is chainsawed through the forest, enabling us to b-line to the road. Vic is carried on a handheld stretcher.

5:00 am - Vic taken to Mattawa hospital by ambulance

5:30 am - The kids, Andy and I walk and hitch a ride with an OPP officer

6:00 am - Friendly Mattawa nurse drives the kids and Andy to the Red Cross centre set up in the Mattawa arena while Vic and I have our injuries assessed. My shoulder and ribs are cleared.

6:30 am - Get into an ambulance with Vic to the North Bay Hospital, through floods on highway 17 which was closed. Being told there was a chance we would need to turn around and pivot to helicopter, in rough skies.

7:30 am - Arrive to North Bay Hospital

8:30 am - Vic heads to operating room

10:30 am - Meet Vic's parents and brother in the recovery room

Vic has been in hospital ever since and has no function in their dominant left hand. This could change and heal, or not. We don't know. Since the moment we were rescued we all kept saying we couldn't believe we were alive. How grateful we were that we got out. But that comes with so many layers of implications and challenges. So yes, we are so grateful. Yes, thank god we are all still alive. Thank you universe, I didn't have to lose another child. All of it.

What's hard is not knowing what will happen with Vic's hand function. She's an artist, and recreation therapist. The amount of pain she has experienced has been so difficult to witness, when nothing helped bring it down for several days in a row.  Vic and I were supposed to spend 12 nights in the trailer in the month of July throughout the festival season. Instead we've spent over 12 nights in hospital rooms.

What was once my safe place in the forest, ended up being my greatest threat. A near-death experience. It now feels terrifying to think about camping. How could this be? The trees are my healers. I bought that crushed up trailer 6 weeks after Kamila died to help me survive her loss. I'm grieving the loss of my sanctuary, my healing cocoon. It was a lifeline for me and now it's gone.

I am blown away at the parallels between June 9, 2021 and June 21, 2025. Mostly about how life, and all the plans that we make, can completely change in less than a minute. Another parallel is noticing the beauty that exists in the greatest moments of crisis. When I squatted between those 2 giant pine trees with my hands on Vic's feet, saying to hold on, that help would come, that they would be ok, I remember looking up and seeing fireflies all around us. The firefighters, paramedics and police officers that came to our rescue were all so very kind, calm, focused and on task. Thousands of trees fell over a couple of hundred campers -  and nobody died. Our villages emerged to help us shoulder the burden of this sudden, unforeseen trauma.

Even though it was a complete nightmare, there were gifts, miracles, and beauty all around us. I'm feeling extra lucky to be alive and can't help but think that Kamila had a hand in protecting us that night.