My name is Brigitte Lebel and I live in Northern Ontario. I am a mother of 3 beautiful kids, a psychotherapist, and as of more recently, a writer. I've been attending home births as an assistant to midwives for over 20 years. I've also attended several deaths at the local hospital as a 'Casual Chaplain'. Music has been a big part of my life and I have recorded on 3 albums.
Listening to the wind blow through the trees and being close to the water is my version of going to church. In fact I would say that it was a huge part of how I coped with the first several months after Kamila died. I had an overwhelming urge to get myself to nature.
Once I recommitted to living life again after this epic loss, I did it with the resolve to live it as fully as possible in her honour. She lived her short life so very fully and seized every opportunity for adventure, connecting with people she loved, and helping people/animals who are hurting or hungry. In short, she ended up being a beautiful role model for how I plan to live the rest of my life. Interestingly, I wrote a song called Teacher on Kamila's first day of school. The lyrics are about how I thought I would be her teacher, but that she turned out to be mine. I later recorded it and made a video that follows her from birth to age 13.
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As early as 3 weeks after Kamila died, I have journal entries brainstorming grief retreat ideas. I craved to be in the forest, cared for by the tall trees, soothed by the sound of the wind blowing through the leaves. I longed to be nourished with healthy food by someone else. I yearned for a break from feeling alienated in a fast-paced world, and from all the "I can't imagine what you are going throughs". The reason I started dreaming about what a retreat would look like, is because I must have googled "Grief Retreat" countless times. Unfortunately I had no luck, but the dreaming of creating one some day became a welcome preoccupation to my deep pain. Almost 5 years later, I'm finally facilitating my first Grief Retreat!
